These last couple years, many people have been wondering: “Where do I fit in?”
There are a lot of disagreements and issues happening right now but one thing we can probably all agree on is that finding a space you feel welcome, accepted and happy is super difficult. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Sam, I’ve seen your posts and you seem to be killing it and “fitting in.” Well, I’m here to tell you that there is a lot you don’t see (note to future self: post more of the struggle). I have a somewhat stubborn head that allows me to push forward no matter how I feel. But yes, I struggle with things I will discuss more in the blog post. PS. If you don’t follow my instagram, check it out. Post more frequent content there @samuelgegen
Yes. I am a PROUD member of the LGBTQIA+ community. But as you don’t know, I have also found it hard to find my place in this community. Being someone who is going almost 6 years sober, I have relinquished my social side to steer clear of bars, clubs, drag shows, events (you name it!) out of feeling extremely uncomfortable in those situations. Anxiety driven total awareness. It’s uncomfortable.
Luckily the last year after becoming single again, it has gotten easier. It’s gotten more tolerable and actually FUN. A lot of that sh*t was in my head. Hmmmm, in your head. A place we all love to live.
I am primarily uncomfortable because in the past I got so used to drinking in all of these scenarios. I was better off just staying away altogether. At least until I got myself and my thoughts under control. It’s not the actual drinking itself that keeps me away. I have learned to not want it, cope without it and really change my whole thought process in regards to how I see alcohol. Now I know, it’s just not for me.
What keeps me away is many things. Sometimes, it’s the grind and that just makes me tired not wanting to do much. Other times it’s the late nights that I hate, the fact I cannot dance, the painful small talk, the fear of rejection and the worry that someone thinks I may be judging them because I am sober. PSA: that is not true at all. Everyone is allowed to live their life freely and how they so choose to! Drinking was my problem, no one else’s. Live it up ladies.
I love our community and one of the things I love the most is the diversity. We have a beautiful, diverse community that is filled with scars and trauma and one of my missions in life is to help. I want to help let everyone know that no matter what your background is or where you come from, you have people in your corner. You have people on your side.
You are loved and accepted. At least by me. And hell, I know from experience there are a lot of people out there that WILL accept you. The easiest way to find them is start doing only the things you LOVE and they will come to you by common ground and energy.
As a young boy who grew up in a very small, Catholic town, my religious trauma and scars run very deep. Knowing I was gay very young, alcohol became a codependency and could have ended my life early. I was down an awful path. It was totally screwing up everything. Luckily, I am working on all of this through my own personal therapy sessions but my goal and life’s purpose is to be who I needed when I was growing up. When I think of little Sam sitting right next to me, it makes me well up. I am so damn hard on myself sometimes but I know I am making that little guy proud.
What do you think your younger self would think of you? Close your eyes, sit down and have a chat with them. I learned this exercise from a friend and boy did it help ground me. You’re doing alright my friends.
An opportunity amongst our community is to connect on common ground. On common interests. On a “strive to get better together” connection. We can break through this fear. We can break through some of the stereotypes and really build a stronger community together.
Over the past year, I have worked with many individuals in the community to build a network and build connections not based on anything but the desire to grow together and have a resourceful community to be a part of. It has far exceeded ALL of our expectations!!
If you are struggling to find your place in our community and want to grow, want to develop and want to be around like minded individuals. Feel free to email me and join our network info@samuelgegen.com or you can DM me on facebook on insta to further the discussion. We welcome you to become a part of something great.
We can build better lives TOGETHER. We meet twice/month and also have a private facebook group.
If you are feeling lost. Join us.
A few other parts of this community is we believe in positivity, uplifting one another, growth mindset and goal setting. I teach a goal setting framework that will help you achieve success. If you put in the work and connect with others. You can create whatever life you want. <3
Hang in there, we got you.